Lachlan and Liberty’s Wedding

“Happy wedding!”

“Have the best honeymoon as husband and wife❤️❤️”

“Hi Liberty and Lachlan. Hope you have a great wedding day and we’re sorry we can’t be there. ”

“Cast your skills in this cast iron skillet”

“Ooohh La La ”

“Congrat to you both, I’m so proud of you!”

“All the very best for your wedding on 27th June. Unfortunately we won’t be there in person but in spirit. If it is streamed please send us the link. ”

“Congratulations on your marriage – please use this as a contribution to a wonderful honeymoon! Send pictures of the big day!”

“We hope you enjoy many delicious meals from this casserole. Sorry we cannot join you on your BIG Day but we wish you a lovely sunny wedding.”

“I believe it was Nietzsche who once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But I say that a man who has a tungsten cube can bear any object less dense, thus all this talk of “why” and “how” becomes inconsequential. I hope that by weilding this cube of surreal heft, all the world around you fades into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. That after becoming accustomed to its unparrelled density, lifting any other object will feel to you as lifting fairy floss or balloons. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions? Verily I say to you that big burly manly men who pump iron will surely seem to you as little children who raise mere aluminium. May this tungsten cube allow you to transcend above death itself. For insofar as it will last forever, you will be in the presence of immortality. And may your toes never get in the way of its desire to be one with the floor.”

“This was the most wonderfully ridiculous thing I’d ever seen on a gift registry, so I had to make sure you got it. P.S. You do know this is in the public domain, don’t you?”

“Love ya guys”